Just because your relationship with someone falls to pieces, doesn’t mean you have to lose the friendship all-together. It’s certainly possible to become good friends with an old boyfriend or girlfriend. But maintaining ties can be difficult in the first stages after a breakup. So how do you deal with the competiveness and jealousy that result from former flames who are suddenly single?
Well, first let’s take a look at the logic behind this phenomenon. Why do we get that awful feeling in our stomachs when an Ex has really moved on? Why is there an obsession with being the first one back out into the dating world again? Because breakups can cause you to feel self-conscious about your personality and image; using your Ex’s post-breakup behavior as a comparison for your own is a natural tendency that we have, when we’re questioning our ability to be successful at relationships again.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re feeling the burn from your Ex’s newfound success in the world of dating. Or, for when you can’t stop worrying about what will happen next:
I know, I know, it’s only human nature to act irrationally over a boasting boyfriend. But don’t let the little blonde on his arm scare you out of your game. His primary goal is probably to make you uneasy anyway, so just be courteous to him and his new pal. When he knows he can’t get to you, he won’t bother trying anymore. Best to steer clear of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends who try to invoke jealousy. It’s probably a reaction to the hurt they feel themselves.
If you’re feeling lonely, resist the urge to call your Ex for pity.
Don’t just sit there! Get out and have some fun! We know by now that Facebook stalking an Ex can be a dangerous way to waste an afternoon, so instead, get out of your room and into the world (even if it’s just to relax with your friends). Meeting new people is the best way to realize that you have full control over your love life again. Being an emotional slave to your Ex, will just drag you deeper into sorrow. But starting conversations with new people, and participating in social functions with your friends, will get you back on your feet.
Don’t get too high and mighty. Bragging about all your adventures since becoming single isn’t fair either.